I Won!

We all dream of it.  Financial freedom, the ability to travel at will, the cars, the mansion, vacation houses, butlers, jewelry, the ultimate man (or woman) cave, your own posse, and a laundry list of other haphazard ideas that are associated with the life alternating experience that is the lottery.  And after months and months of pressing my luck and wasting my money, it has finally paid off.  I finally won!

I told myself if this day ever came, I’d stay true to my proclivities.  I wouldn’t move to a far off land; I wouldn’t turn up my nose towards others in less fortunate circumstances and I certainly wouldn’t estrange those who have made me who I am today.  In fact, my first thoughts were these.

I would make certain my parents and siblings were very well taken care of.  Pick a car, any car and pick a house, any house I’d tell them.  Secondly, I’d donate a portion of the winnings towards various charities throughout my local community.  And third, I’d put enough back so each of my three children could get their doctorate degrees from Sarah Lawrence College in Yonkers, N.Y.

As for me?  The first thing I’m going to do is buy my own private jet and hire my very own private pilot.  I often dream of the day I can call him or her up and say, “The family would like to go to the Bahamas for two weeks.  Meet us at the airport in three hours.”  We’ll met, they’ll fire up the jet, and we’ll all fly off into the sky leaving all none of our worries far, far behind.  Of course after that, I’ll shower my wife with all the jewelry she could wear, build the ultimate man cave, buy a car for each day of the week, purchase two vacation houses per continent (except maybe Antarctica), and fabricate a lifetime supply of toilet paper rolls made out of hundred dollar bills (and then use them).

I’d now like to present to you proof of my winnings and show you the actual winning lottery ticket.  I must warn you, I’ve already reported my winning ticket to the Hoosier Lottery, so all you Photoshop junkies, don’t try to get cute and replicate the ticket.  Drum roll please…

…well, it looks like all those hopes and aspirations will have to wait a little while longer.  I only won $2.  I’ll try not to spend it all in one place.