Mr. Mom

Do you ever wonder what God was doing when He was creating men in his likeness?  I don’t either but if you could explain to me why He disadvantaged men, please fill me in!  After all, wasn’t Eve that disobeyed Him?  Yes, women give birth and have their little monthly thing but that’s nothing compared to what men are forced to deal with when they’re sucked into the role of playing Mr. Mom!

Gender roles are generally established in boys and girls at a very young age that teaches boys they are supposed to be superior, strong, muscular, take charge, rowdy, like to get dirty, and tough while young girls are taught to be gentle, loving, passionate, caring, and proper; and it is these very attributes that cause men to be maternally inferior to women.  But what happens when a man is violently thrust into a position to care for his young more so than usual…

…a picture is worth 1,000 words.

You see, my wife recently went back to school to obtain her teaching degree which has been a life-altering experience for me.  Every day is like groundhog day:

  • Up at 5:30 am
  • Leave for work at 6 am
  • Arrive at work at 6:50 am
  • Get off work at 4:00 pm
  • Pick up my eldest daughter
  • Drive 20 minutes further to pick up my two younger children
  • Play referee between my two daughters during the car ride home
  • Arrive home at 5:30ish pm (son is attached to my hip)
  • Immediately start dinner
  • After dinner, kids are in the bath
  • While they’re distracted in the bath, dishes, laundry, and tidying is attempted
  • Hear “Daddy, Leah hit me!” and “Dad, Ella made a mess!” or some variation of tattling for the better part of 3 hours
  • After bath, homework (wife generally arrives home at this time – between 6:30 – 8:30 pm) (son is still attached to my hip)
  • Wife gets on computer
  • Play time, reading, etc. with kids until 9:00 pm
  • Fight with my two daughters trying to get them in bed, and trying to KEEP them in bed
  • Wife still on computer…
  • Still trying to get my daughters to sleep…(son is still attached to my hip)
  • Wife still on computer…
  • 10:30 pm – daughters are finally asleep
  • 10:31 pm – son is still awake…and still attached to my hip!
  • 11:00 pm(sometimes earlier) – son and I go to bed
  • 11:15 pm – son is sideways on the bed with his feet digging into my ribs
  • Wife still on the computer…
  • 11:30 pm – Finally me and my son are asleep
  • Unknown – Wife comes to bed, takes our son to his crib
  • 2:00ish am – Son wakes up crying; I get out of bed and bring him back to our bed
  • 5:30 am – Alarm clock starts screaming!

And by the way – weekends are much the same as my wife is forced to work long hours on the weekends to make up hours she lost while attending classes throughout the week.

Now, it’s not that I love my children any more or less than she does; but she did this for 4 years while I was in school and barely muttered a word!!  I’ve been doing this for about 4 months and as a result, I have gray hair in my goatee now, a somewhat receding hairline, and the memory of a goldfish!

Perhaps the culture shock is to blame, or maybe it’s God’s fault for not evenly distributing the maternal instincts He created in women so long ago…either way, I’ve found the only relief is to curl up in a ball and cry like a baby…but I can’t because my son is still attached to my hip…

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